Friday, July 09, 2010

Theology Exam Questions

OK, you have to be a bit of a geek in the area of academic theology to even get why some of these are funny, but if you are ...  most of them will be funny. Found them cleaning out an old file yesterday.

You may answer all or some of the following questions. Please turn in your answers before picking up your diploma.

1. Is there such a thing as a theologically indefensible proposition? If so, where did you last see one? Under what conditions?

2. How many different ways can you spell Schillebeeckx?

3. Has the Church always taught anything? Explain. And be specific.

4. Reflect on the Seven Deadly Sins. Describe how you have integrated these into your life. Be specific.

5. Who wrote the Summa Theologica, and why? What did they get out of it?

6. Why is Simon Stylites important in the history of Eccentric Spirituality?

7. Compare the discernment process of Ignatius with that of Sherlock Holmes.

8. Does Karl Rahner believe in verbs?

9. Which does not belong to the group?
      a. Rahner, Kung, Howdy Doody, Dulles, Schillebeexkz
      b. Ecclesiology, Christology, Mariology, Phrenology, Eschatology
      c. Esther, Dolly Parton, Ruth, Judith, Sarah
      d. bishop, cardinal, priest, deacon, cowboy
      e. John XXIII, Malcolm X, Paul VI, John Paul I, John Paul II

10. Construct on a single legal-size sheet of paper a mock-up of the Trinity. Your construct should take into account the writing of John of St Thomas, Thomas of Aquin, Thomas the Apostle, an/or the Neo-Thomists.

11. Chart the progress of a mystic climbing of Dante's Mount of Purgation from the inside.

12. Discuss recent continental developments in astrology, Christology, and the linchpin theory of the universe.

13. Make an ethical critique of a hypothetical proposal to establish a papal sperm bank.

14. The great powers have loosed a nuclear war. Discuss the following propositions:
     a. Use of hard tack for a shelter liturgy is, for the duration, valid but illicit.
     b. A rack of shot guns at the shelter door will enlarge the chance of Christian survival.

15. If the headquarters of the Western Church are a Rome and Geneva, where are the hindquarters?

16. Taking into account the view of Norman Vincent Peale that Christ had everything going for him and blew it, refute the Servant Songs of Isaiah.


JMM said...

The hindquarters are in Canterbury, of course!

Anonymous said...

Father Dan:

I am so sorry you did not give us this exam in the class you taught in Fresno. I would have loved sitting for the exam!!!

Grace and Peace!

Deacon Francie

TJ McMahon said...

No JMM, I am pretty sure that the hindquarters are at 815 Second Ave, NYC.

On 9, the correct answers are:
a) Kung (non-European)
b) Phrenology- the one not denied by western Anglicans
c) Judith- the one who has not been to Nashville
d) cardinal- there are none in TEC
e) John XXIII- the only one who did not own at least one Beatles album.

David Handy+ said...

Great answers, TJ.

But I'm curious, Dan. Just who created this hilarious mock exam anyway?

Daniel Martins said...

I don't know the origin of these questions. I was cleaning out some files and ran across them on single sheet that was obviously several generations away from being an original. I've had it for years, if not decades.

Luke Hansen said...

They are from Dan Berrigan, published in "The Berrigan Letters"